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What drives people away from you

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tanya singh
What drives people away from you

Practicing psychologist Mark Chernoff and his wife, over the years of dealing with thousands of clients, firmly learned: each of us is able to poison the life of ourselves and others, simply by building a line of behavior in a certain way. They counted such "poisonous" lines in total

 


1. You take everything too personally. - When people begin to believe that everything that happens around them is aimed at insulting them, humiliating them, or just somehow concerns them, they become simply unbearable. The truth is that most of what people tell you has to do with them, but not with you. People's reactions to you are filtered through their perspective, emotional wounds and experience. And if people consider you a wonderful person or, on the contrary, think that there is no one worse than you in the whole world, the origins of this opinion for the most part lie in the depths of their souls. No, I don't think that we should all become narcissistic egotists, ignoring everything that others tell us. I'm just saying that we can save ourselves a lot of frustration, pain, and sadness if we don't take everything we hear to heart.


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2. You always act like you're the victim. . The belief that you are a victim, that you have no control over the direction in which your life is moving, poisons your mind and makes you stagnate. After my experience as a mentor with people whose lives started to go downhill until they found the strength and courage to turn things around, I know that we all have a lot more power and control over our lives than we think. When we stop complaining, we begin to realize that we are much stronger than we thought before - we just need to accept it.

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3. You accumulate pain and loss.. Be it guilt, anger, love or loss. Change never comes into our lives easily - you fight with yourself to accept it, and fight with yourself to let go of what you are used to. But often the best course of action is to let go. It removes from you the burden of the past that poisons your life. You must emotionally free yourself from the past and the pain that it brings you. Yes, redirecting your thoughts to something else is not so easy, but believe me, it is worth every drop of the effort.


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4. You are obsessed with negative thoughts. “People whose thoughts are full of negativity are very difficult to be around – imagine what it’s like to constantly hear about terrible things that happened, did not happen and can happen, about how no one loves them and how life is unfair to them. Such people simply refuse to see the bright side of life and learn from it positive lessons. Pessimism is generally tolerable, but constantly thinking only in negative categories is another thing entirely. And much worse. Initially, to assume that there is only evil around and the whole world is against you is a completely perverted view of life. It's not just worth changing, it needs to be changed.


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5. You are not in control of your emotions. “Failing to take control of your emotions is a sure way to poison the lives of everyone around you. We all know such people who explode with anger or tears, having met with the slightest obstacle in their path or having experienced inconvenience. Yelling at a store clerk for slow service, venting your anger at employees for minor mistakes, or chastising your daughter for half an hour for spilling juice on the floor is simply unworthy. If you realize that you are overly emotional and constantly losing self-control, you may need help from outside so that you can take control of your emotions and get to the bottom of the roots of your eternal anger. Sometimes there is much more to it than is visible from the surface


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