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Understanding the most common signs of autism in toddlers

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Kiindred
Understanding the most common signs of autism in toddlers

As an autistic mum of a child with autism, I am often asked by other parents, “Do you think my child is on the spectrum?” Typically, parents asking this question may already have some concerns or inklings about their child.


The struggle with determining whether your toddler may be autistic/neurodivergent is two-fold: first, many signs of autism appear in typical toddler behaviors and two, we now know that autism presents in a much broader spectrum of ways than previously understood. While there are general signs to look out for, it’s important that you seek a professional opinion with an autism-affirming provider if you feel your child may need additional support.


Diagnosing autism

The autism community has spoken out more and more about why diagnosis is important to autistic individuals. Being autistic is not in itself a problem to be solved. However, autistic people move through and experience the world differently. If your toddler is exhibiting signs of autism, seeking a professional’s help is important to gain a better understanding of your child’s specific nervous system and needs. From there, you can determine what support would be helpful for your child’s particular presentation of autism.


Autism also presents much differently in males than females. Typical autism evaluations are based upon old criteria that were developed by studying young males. Consequently, a lot of what we look for doesn’t apply to females on the spectrum. It’s important to keep this in mind if you suspect your female toddler is autistic.


Signs of autism in toddlers

As referenced above, autism can be introduced in a tremendous range of ways and the signs can move contingent upon the climate, how directed your youngster is feeling, and whether their requirements are being met. For example, autistic girl frequently presents considerably more ordinarily assuming she is very much refreshed and has had her tactile "cup" filled. In the event that her requirements aren't met, she is more inclined to complete implosion and not having the option to endure garments and sounds. Therefore we call it a range.


The signs are a moving target and may shift from one day to the next based on all of the environmental factors. If you have concerns, it’s helpful to keep a log so you can determine whether there are patterns around when certain behaviors ramp up.


So, what are the signs of autism in toddlers?

Let’s start with social skills. Social interactions can be overwhelming for autistic folks and especially, for autistic toddlers. The amount of sensory input combined with social norms that may not make sense to an autistic toddler can lead to behaviors like:

  • Preferring to play alone
  • Not making eye contact (although many autistic toddlers may make eye contact)
  • Not as responsive to facial expressions by others. For example, don't smile back when you smile at them.
  • Limited engagement in imaginative play (unless the child is on the PDA part of the spectrum, in which case they may blur the lines between reality and imaginative play)
  • Echolalia: repeating the words or sounds of those around them without understanding/ascribing meaning
  • Absence of speech
  • Not wanting to be touched in the case of a sensory avoiding profile
  • Needing constant touch if sensory seeking
  • Appears not to show empathy for others. For example, a child at the playground scrapes their knee and your child stares blankly.
  • Uses the wrong pronouns to address themselves and others
  • Not using words by around 15 months old


There are certain behaviors that we associate with autism and they are often framed as “red flags” or problematic. It’s important to reframe this and understand that these behaviors are adaptive ways that an autistic toddler is coping with nervous system dysregulation. These behaviors are not an issue by themselves. They can be good clues into your child’s level of felt safety and can help guide you toward an autism diagnosis.


These behaviors include:

  • Stimming: this can show up as repetitive behaviors like rockling, flapping, wrist twisting, spinning. This is actually a really healthy way for an autistic toddler to work with their nervous system. Stimming should not be seen as a behavior to be stopped.
  • Hyper Focused interests: either with a toy, a show, a particular animal.
  • Needing routines and being averse to change
  • In the case of PDA, extremely adverse to routines and needing novelty to avoid nervous system activation triggered by everyday demands
  • Sensory processing challenges: these show up as strong preferences for the same food, resistance to trying new foods, issues with clothes (often shoes and socks), adverse reactions to hygiene needs like baths, teeth brushing, hair brushing.
  • Sensitivity to sound and noises that can lead to extreme distress or meltdowns
  • Difficulties with sleeping
  • Extended toilet training challenges
  • Looks at objects from unique angles
  • May not point at objects
  • Losing language skills between 15 months and 24 months


Most autistic toddlers will not exhibit every single one of these signs. Often, autistic children are missed or don’t get a diagnosis until much later in life because society as a whole has determined that autism looks a certain way or presents only in extremes. A lot of these behaviors can also be attributed to Sensory Processing Disorder (SPD). Autism, SPD, ADD and ADHD all have some overlap in the way they present. If you feel your child is struggling, there are lots of resources and tools to help your child function and thrive with their uniquely wired brain.


It can be overwhelming at first, but having an autistic child does not mean your child is flawed, bad, or disordered. If you are seeing signs of autism in your toddler, they may have a unique nervous system and process the world in a different way. Finding professionals who view autism through this lens is vital in your journey toward understanding your toddler’s unique behaviors and how you can help them thrive in a neurotypical world.



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