A terminal illness diagnosis is traumatic for the ill person, caregivers, and loved ones. The loss of control and sadness can be overwhelming. Over my 30 years of law practice and coping with my husband’s and father’s rapid decline and death following a terminal illness diagnosis, I’ve learned that having some commonsense action steps can be calming and helpful. It gives one something to do. Something practical to take control over in an otherwise uncontrolled circumstance.
To that end, my clients have found this list particularly helpful, and I hope you do too.
Be sure that you have signed an Advance Health Care Directive and have a medical provider sign a do not resuscitate (DNR) order
Have all advance directives and DNR orders on file with your medical providers, and make sure both are readily accessible at home. For example, consider folding the documents neatly in a baggy and affixing it to the outside of the refrigerator. Emergency medical technicians (EMTs) tend to know to check the fridge for important papers.
Finally, if you are the caregiver providing the day-to-day care, take care of yourself!
Try to delegate some of that caregiving for some time each day. It is challenging to let someone else step into that role because your time together is finite, and you want to be sure to make every moment count. But exhaustion is never good for anyone, your loved one or yourself. Remember the adage: “secure your own oxygen mask, then take care of those with you.” Take some time each day for yourself. You will be a better caregiver for it.
