How do you raise them to be a morally good person? It takes more than a book on morals or a lecture. 10 tricks for kids to learn ethical decency.
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If you want your child to become musical, let them learn an instrument. If you want to promote your child's athletic performance, send them to a sports club. And anyone who wants to have an intelligent child supports their reading desire and curiosity.
But how do you teach ethics to a child? Moral ideas and good behavior? With a lecture alone, the subject is not off the table. However, it is also not rocket science to teach the next generation how a good person should act.
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Professor Emeritus Arthur Dobrin and former member of the Ethical Humanist Society of Long Island published a list of 10 tips on how to raise your child to be a morally good person in Psychology Today magazine :
- Act as you want your child to act
"Act only according to the maxim by which you can at the same time want it to become a general law." This is the famous categorical imperative of Immanuel Kant . These instructions are more relevant today than ever - and a good start to serve as a good role model for your own little one.
Children watch their parents' behavior. It affects them even more than verbal advice and instructions from mom and dad. So the first step in making your child a morally good person is pretty simple: just act morally yourself.
- Consistently set standards of what is right and what is wrong
what is right, what is wrong? A child must first learn to think in these categories and to classify things correctly. And who better to teach the little ones than the parents personally?
The most important thing is consistency. Anyone who tells their children to only go through green traffic lights, but always scurries over red with the child in stressful everyday life, confuses the child. It is better to get the youngsters used to the norm first, before confronting them with exceptions.
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- Empower your child when they do good
If the child acts well on its own - for example, comforts the injured sister or hugs the grieving grandma - the parents say: praise, praise, praise! People - especially children - learn more from praise than from punishment.
If the child links their good behavior with the praise of their parents, they internalize these good deeds. So they become normal in his everyday life.
- Explain to the child the reasons for (moral) rules
You shouldn't hit, lie, steal: the list of what children should not do is long. However, this authoritarian announcement alone is not enough to put children on the right path.
Children want to understand things. You want to know the reasons why something is prohibited. A child is much more likely to obey a "You mustn't hit because it hurts the other child" than just a request not to hit.
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- Bring your child's attention to other people's feelings
Empathy is the key to morally good actions. If a child learns to interpret the feelings of his fellow human beings and to build compassion, they will be less inclined to harm other people.
In order to learn empathy, it is enough for mom and dad to direct their child's attention to other people's feelings. Sentences like "Look, this boy has hurt himself and is crying" train compassion.
- Talk to your child about the importance of kindness
What's the point of being friendly? If you are kind to someone, it is likely that that person will mirror their behavior and be nice too. When one is kind, one sows peace instead of war.
There are many reasons for friendliness. Explaining them to your children is the first step in making them friendly people.
- Show your disapproval of unacceptable behavior
For morally correct behavior, it also means knowing what does not is fine. If you observe immoral behavior or even a violation of the law with your child, you as a parent should by no means sweep this under the carpet.
It is always better to speak to someone than to keep quiet. This is the only way for the child to learn what is reprehensible and why.
- Make your child more aware of good choices
Parents are usually aware that communication plays a major role in upbringing. It is best to help children make decisions and give them useful pointers.
For example, if the child can decide for themselves whether to give one of their two chocolate chips to their little brother, they can be steered in the right direction: "Look, you have two pieces. Would you like to share them with your brother? Otherwise he will be sad, if he doesn't get one. "
- Emphasize fairness in games
Justice is a cornerstone of moral conduct. How do you teach this feeling to your child? Quite simply: while playing!
If you don't get angry with Mensch , Uno and Co. take a very close look, you can give your child a lot for life. What is fair How does injustice feel? Why is fairness even important? Children learn faster while playing - and of course with ease!
- Show enthusiasm for moral role models and achievements
Just as important as the disapproval of immoral behavior (see point 7) is the appreciation of desirable behavior.
If you observe exemplary behavior with the child - be it in real life or in Disney films - you can explain it to the child. Even toddlers often understand more than we think they can.
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